In April
2009 I was in a doctor’s
waiting room and to fill in time was reading the Women’s
Weekly. They annually run a competition for short stories, and I
read the story which was the 2008 second prize winner. Quite frankly
I found it a load of rubbish and almost instantaneously decided I
could write
“trash”
as good as that. The competition rules say that the story has to
have a heroine, a beginning, middle and end, and not leave any loose
ends.
The
closing date was only a week from when I read the article, and below
is my hurried entry. It does leave a bit of a loose end, but so be
it. I’ve
decided to post it off. Like the lottery, you never know.
GOING SOLO
By
Helen Painter
Fair, fat and thirty
- and single to boot. That was Margot Kennedy, or at least her
Self-image of herself. 'I guess I should be glad I'm not fair, fat
and forty - and still single to boot', thought Margot, though
in her heart she could see that in ten years time that was exactly
what she would be. Her 30th birthday had been no cause
for celebration.
Her perceived weight problem was the bane
of her life. It affected her social life, her love life, even what
clothes she could wear. Years of diets had had little effect.
Periodically she would attempt to take control of her life and make
a fresh start. This had involved various courses, endless fad diets,
plus changes in her lifestyle and accommodation - the latter to live
near a gym.
Her friends and her parents kept assuring
her she was not fat - just someone with a large frame, and that her
weight was appropriate to her size. This was not what Margo saw in
the mirror. And maybe it was her continued unsuccessful love life
that had convinced her this was the reason. The last two boyfriends
she had had, two guys she really liked, had eventually drifted away
from her, and when next she saw them they were with a slim girl.
They had never commented on her weight when they were with her, but
as soon as she saw them with their new partners she instinctively
knew it had been her weight that had been the problem. The fact that
she too was drifting away from them at the time made little
difference. It was them that had made the first move to end the
relationship, so she immediately had blamed her weight without
stopping to think that in many ways they were actually doing her a
favour. Why could it never be her to end relationships. With
her perceived weight problem she knew however that it was unlikely
she would ever be the first person to end a relationship.
One course she had done last year was
snorkelling. She had loved it. To her surprise there had been a wide
age group of people doing the course - including several middle aged
couples who were learning skills for forthcoming holidays. They
seemed to be full of the spirit of adventure and not worried about
their appearance. It was one of the few times she had not felt
self-conscious in her swimming costume. Their enthusiasm had rubbed
off on her and she too was keen to holiday where she could use her
new skills.
This course had led to where she now found
herself - a coral island on the Great Barrier Reef. Her travel
agent, Vicki, had recommended this particular island as absolutely
first class for snorkelling - you could just walk out of your room
and into the water - the island was made of coral and was actually
part of the Barrier Reef. Vicki had also said it was not a party
island - it was a place where solo travellers could feel
comfortable. She had been to “party”
islands before with her friends and always ended up the proverbial
wall flower. Vicki had recommended that Margot opt for the top
package on the island, accommodation in a Waterfront Suite.
Waterfront Suites, as their name implied, were situated right on the
water's edge, and guests were given the best table positions in the
dining room overlooking the reef. 'A little bit of Paradise' was
how Vicki had described it. Margot sincerely hoped so, as it was
going to cost her much more than she had planned on spending.
Stepping ashore, Margot felt immediately
that Vicki had been right in describing it as a little bit of
Paradise. The island was surrounded by golden sands and turquoise
blue crystal clear water. You could see the reef right from the
water's edge. She was thrilled with her Waterfront Suite. She felt
she could happily spend the whole holiday sitting on the private
beach front patio soaking up the atmosphere and view.
There was a full program of activities,
but snorkelling was top on Margot's agenda. Inshore snorkelling
could be done at any time. Snorkelling on the outer reef was by
boat, and it was suggested that Margot hire a wet suit as it gave
extra buoyancy in the water. When she hired the suit, and was
fitted, she felt she could see by the girl's face that she was
thinking Margot was carrying enough blubber without any extra
buoyancy from a wet suit being required. A flash of regret in coming
passed through her. Had she deluded herself into thinking this
holiday could be different?
Dinner that evening was her first meal on
the island. Smart casual was the dress code, and Margot had splurged
before coming in buying two new evening outfits. She chose a
turquoise one for that evening, thinking it matched her tropical
surroundings. She looked in the mirror and some of her confidence
was restored. It was a lovely dress, smart but still casual, and she
knew the style suited her. As Vicki had promised, she had been
allocated one of the best tables in the dining room, right next to
huge picture windows overlooking the ocean view. With daylight
saving still in place, the sun was only just starting to set and the
sky was taking on shades of pink and red. What she hadn't realised
was that solo travellers in the top package range were seated at the
same table. The waiter had been expecting her, escorted her to the
table, and introduced her to her three table companions - three men.
Well that was a first. These days she rarely dined with one man, let
alone three. She was astounded and even hesitated a moment. But a
surge of adrenalin came to the fore, and Margot quite forgot that
morning’s regrets when trying on her wet
suit. She glanced at her turquoise dress, stood tall, and approached
the table with what she hoped appeared a confident smile.
There were more overseas visitors on the
island than Australians, and upon introductions being made, Margot
assumed all her companions were from overseas. There was Rob, who
spoke with a very educated English accent; Rashid, an Indian, and
Simon, an American. All appeared to be in their late thirties or
early forties, and all were extremely good looking.
As it happened, it was also Rob and
Rashid's first evening on the island. Simon had already been there
several days, and only had two more to go. Simon dominated all the
conversation. It seemed he asked questions as a way to lead into
telling everyone about himself.
He asked where they all came from, and it
was then that Margot, to her surprise, found that Rob was from the
Eastern Suburbs of Sydney and Rashid came from Melbourne. Both had
migrated to Australia several years ago. Simon asked where Margot
lived, and as only a brief answer seemed to be required, she
truthfully said in the heart of Sydney. She didn't add that it was a
tiny rented flat with no view, which she shared with two other
girls.
Simon liked her answer. It gave him the
opening he was looking for.
"There's nothing like living in the heart
of a city. My apartment in New York overlooks Central Park. Of
course I have a place in Florida too, but New York city is the place
to live."
He continued on, giving details of his
life style. Margot had never met anyone like him in her life. At
first she was awe-struck. Rob and Rashid were also very quiet - not
that they had any chance of contributing much to the conversation.
Margot visualised Rob living somewhere flash in the Eastern Suburbs
and Rashid probably lived in Toorak in Melbourne. She hoped she wasn’t
going to find herself out of her depth with these three men.
What she did find herself out of depth
with, was the food. Never in her wildest dreams had she realised how
sumptuous and plentiful it was going to be. Restraint was going to
be near impossible. She loved her food, and knew she sometimes did
overeat when things were not going well for her and she was feeling
down. She frantically calculated how much swimming, walking and
exercising she was going to need to do on the island to at least
maintain her current weight. The thought of going home with added
kilos was too much to bear.
The next evening, Simon's final evening,
he was still well in charge of conversation at the table. This
evening he was interested in everyone's career - or at least to have
an opening to tell everyone about his own. Rob said he was in
pharmaceuticals (Margot thought he must surely be a C.E.O. of some
firm), and Rashid said he was in textiles (Margot deciding he must
own some large textile company). Margot, who was a high school
teacher in Parramatta, was quickly thinking what she could say.
Before she knew it she was telling them she was in higher education.
She couldn't believe what had possessed her to say such a thing.
She need not have worried about being
taxed for further information. Simon launched into details of his
real estate career in the States, about the chain of branches he
owned, about the top apartments he had sold, and so on. Margot
wondered if the others thought as she did - thank goodness it was
Simon's last night.
Margot just loved the snorkelling and also
managed to fit in a trip on the island's semi-submersible to view
the outer reef underwater, and join in a few other activities on
offer. A complete walk around the island was only two kilometres but
walking in the sand made it harder exercise than a normal walk that
length. Margot had resolved to do an island circuit after each meal.
By day three she was wondering if two circuits after each meal would
be more appropriate.
On the third evening only Rob, Rashid and
Margot were at the table in the dining room. There were only ten
Waterfront Suites and Margot had not seen Rob or Rashid in the
vicinity during the days. Just for something to say, Margot asked
them which suites they were in. There was a bit of silence at first
then they both smiled at each other. Rashid said, "You tell her
Rob."
"We're actually impostors," said Rob, "so
I hope you don't mind sitting with us in the dining room."
"Whatever do you mean?," asked Margot.
"Normally only Waterfront Suite guests
travelling solo get to sit here, and both Rashid and I have rooms
down the other end of the island. We were the only other solo
travellers on the island, and I think the powers to be felt a bit
sorry to place you at a table alone with Simon, so they suggested
they upgrade us to join the two of you."
"Impostors! ", Margot burst out, "why I
can assure you I am most probably more of an impostor than both of
you."
Rob and Rashid looked at her with
surprise.
"If you only knew what this holiday has
done to my bank balance. I'm not in higher education, but a high
school teacher in the Western Suburbs, and you can hardly swing a
cat in my little shared rented flat in the city." She blurted out
all this, with a mixed feeling that at least it was a relief to be
upfront and honest, but also that now Rob and Rashid, despite what
they said about being impostors, would now lose any interest they
may have had in her.
"Seems like Simon had the same effect on
all of us," said Rob. "I'm a Chemist in a local Pharmacy in Coogee
and I too share a rented apartment. I’m
hoping next year to be offered a partnership in the Pharmacy and to
also possibly get my own house, but at the moment I am still very
much a working man and renting."
Rashid smiled. "The same goes for me. I
work at my Uncle's textile company. My cousins will inherit it and
I'm afraid I will always only be an employee. In fact I still live
with my family in Melbourne, though my Uncle is planning to set up a
branch office in Sydney and I am hoping he might send me to run it.
My cousins aren’t interested in leaving
Melbourne, and if I move to Sydney I would be able to get a flat of
my own. In Melbourne my family would be most hurt if I moved out of
our family home - we Indians are rather like that.”
They all laughed and the conversation
flowed three ways freely the rest of the evening. Their company had
so relaxed Margot that she ended up telling them of her
embarrassment with her weight problem. Rob said he had hardly
noticed, and said it so genuinely that Margot actually believed him.
He added that he didn't like skinny women. Rashid said that a
well-rounded woman was much admired in India, and he thought Margot
was most comely. Margot could not remember having such a lovely
evening for many a year. She kept wishing it would never end.
Rashid did say that he was going to the
Yoga lesson each day and invited Margot to join him. He said that
yoga could help give people an inner discipline and maybe Margot
could find it of help with her eating worries - though he
immediately reconfirmed he personally didn't think she had anything
to worry about. Rob suggested she might like to join him for a game
of chess on the outdoor court near the pool the next afternoon. Yes
this holiday was looking better all the time.
The Yoga lesson with Rashid she found
invigorating, certainly not something she had ever thought of in
relation to yoga. Most of the group, including Rashid, were advanced
yoga practitioners, but there were at least three other beginners
like Margo and the instructor made them feel very relaxed and
comfortable with the others. Rashid was next to her and was only too
happy to give her guidance and encouragement. Never once did he make
her feel uncomfortable in being such a beginner. Both he and the
instructor were only too happy to explain the reason for many of the
moves they made and how these various positions could assist people
in both mind and body.
The game of chess with Rob certainly
exercised her mind. Fortunately she used to play regularly with her
Dad and felt confident of her ability to hold her own. Just as well,
as Rob proved stiff competition. He won, but she knew he meant it
when he said how much he had enjoyed the game and the rivalry she
had given him.
The guys had opted for a 5-night stay
instead of a full week. On their final day on the island, Rob asked
if he could see Margot on their return to Sydney and Rashid said he
came up to Sydney on business once each month and would love to meet
Margot again, and once more mentioned the possibility of his moving
to Sydney. Both had given her their mobile phone numbers and email
addresses. In just a few days Margot had gained more for her
self-image than she had in the past ten years or so. She knew she
would always be "well-built", but she determined she would never
again think of herself as fat. Her obsession with her weight had
already wasted too many years.
Margo had two more days by herself. That
first evening she found a mother and a daughter at her table, the
daughter possibly being about Margo’s age.
The waitress told Margo that although they were not solo travellers,
they seemed very nice, and the staff had thought Margo might enjoy
their company rather than be by herself. The daughter had actually
just been divorced and had come away with her Mum to get a change of
scene and get “her head straightened out”,
as she described it. They proved good company and Margo could see
the daughter would not be long getting that head of hers
straightened out. She was already scanning the room for eligible
men. Margo was nearly glad that both Rob and Rashid had departed,
though she somehow felt this girl would not have appealed to them.
To even think this was a step forward for Margo’s
self-esteem.
Next morning, straight after breakfast,
Margo was doing her laps around the island when her mobile rang with
a text message. “Whoever could it be”,
she thought. She clicked on the message, and it simply said,
“Thinking of you, R.”
Margot felt a wave of emotion. Then she suddenly thought,
“Is it Rob or Rashid?”
Their mobile numbers she had quickly popped into her address book
but hadn’t taken much notice of them at
the time because she knew she would not be using them first, and had
been sure she would not be hearing from either of them until she had
been home for several weeks. She was at the half way mark of her
walk - another kilometre to go.
At first she hastened her pace, but
gradually slowed down. “What did it matter
who it was from she thought”. Hearing from
either Rob or Rashid would be equally as pleasant, though whoever
had had the romantic idea of sending this special text would
possibly gain the edge. The words “Rob”
or “Rashid” kept
silently passing through her lips. It had been many years since she
had had such delicious thoughts. This small island had proved to be
the best holiday of her life - and yes, it definitely was a little
bit of Paradise.
She approached her unit, opened the door
and went into the bedroom to get her handbag and address book. Even
then she knew she wouldn’t care which one
it was. They were both lovely men and she knew this was only the
beginning of a new page in her life.
________
Helen Painter
PO Box 811 TORONTO. 2283
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